Hi all....Yes again, I find that life has made it difficult to blog. My apologies for the delay, but it has just been surprisingly hectic as of late. Rather than just keep avoiding it, I thought I would just do a quick post and open it up for discussion.
I am also a little at a loss for what to blog about, as I really have been pulled in so many directions and we are in a decent place with our path. So I thought I would reach out and see what topics are on your minds and what areas we could explore together.
I wish you all health, happiness and joy in the holiday season.
My wife and I are interested in consistency and how to fit discipline and punishment into our FLR. Also, how much control works best. We've found the less freedom I have the better our FLR is This is a catch 22 though because it leaves me with very little I can do on my own and very little personal time. On the flip side, I seem to adjust and become very content when she increases her control significantly.
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous, I agree this is a real issue to be addressed. From what I have seen in reaction to this blog and others, more control, more discipline and more consistency seem to be what every submissive husband wants. But it is also hard to accomplish in the real world. As I said in a previous post, one of the best ways to get your feet wet is for the leader to just decide to do it for X period and do as much as she thinks she should. You can always adjust it or change, but it at least gives you a shorter term experimental period.
DeleteWhat is your current discipline/punishment approach? Does she use DD? Do you have any set protocol re types of punishments or frequency?
Yes, she uses DD. She has a nasty acrylic cane and a moderately heavy wooden paddle. She can also be quite severe with these tools (200 hard swats). And it works on my behavior. I'm always contrite with renewed obedience after a spanking. She will also remove privileges, such as RV time. This works well. Our problem is that we have children and extended family at home. While much of our family would say my wife wears the pants, she is not about to reveal the DD she uses on me. So we lack consistency. If we were alone and she felt it necessary she'd spank me daily, but we often have an audience. Now don't get me wrong, I'm very obedient and look for ways to please her. It's just, you know how men can get an attitude at times, so occasionally she needs her to put me in my place.
DeleteThat should be TV not RV.
DeleteI think this time of the year with holidays and all we all find our free time is hard to find.Our FLR is going on five years so it seems like it's just our new normal so it would be a little hard to blog if there wasn't something new or fresh on your mind.We have an anniversary for our FLR and on the last one my wife bought me a card and in it she said I'm really happy with were we are in our relationship sorta like you said in your post.It is nice to hear from you and I hope you have an awesome Christmas. RR
ReplyDeleteThanks, RR. I wish you and your family well too. Especially that you have five years in, I would be interested in any perspective you want to share about what works the best, did not work, etc. We are barely a year on this so I have much to learn!!
DeleteHi Mistrss Rhiannon
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, I have missed your writing.
So some thoughts for a couple of posts.
A retrospective - if toy were starting this again with what you've learned, what would you do differently?
One looking forward - I'm Hers recently talked about reaching a steady state. You seem to suggest that you have as well. So where do you see the next level of changes and development coming from? Where are your efforts focussed?
Regards
DtBHC
Thanks, DtBHC, I used this as a starting place for the blog this week. I think I will tackle the second part as soon as I get my act together on the first.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being a loyal reader and contributor. Always enjoy hearing from you.