Starting Out

I have never blogged before.  I only very recently even started posting comments that were not Anonymous on blogs that I have been following.  But, in thinking about the different challenges a semi-new Female Led Relationship brings, and in appreciating several blogs that deal with these issues in heartfelt and emotional ways, I thought maybe it was time to try this out. We will see whether this ends as a wholly failed experiment in my ability to be articulate or interesting.

To this point, all of the blogs I have followed speak to me in different ways. There is a traditional F/m domestic discipline blog that I like to read because it addresses the disciplinary aspect of this in a frank and engaging manner. It is also more of a cooperative community of sharing ideas and thoughts that is particularly appealing.  There are a few male submissive blogs I follow because it is important for me to understand the feelings behind this on the other side and to have some level of comfort that taking control as a female is, in real and genuine ways, something that can bring simplicity, joy, intimacy and/or peace.  I also follow a Mistress blog that is so beautifully about love and respect that I could not help but feel better about this choice when my husband raised it.  What is so amazing as this progresses is how different each person's take is in these communities, and what works for some and not others.

In the very beginning I was trying to read everything I could and certain things turned me off or made me wonder if I could or should really do this.  But, as I explored more, I began to see that there are so many benefits of this and so many different ways to construct it that you can create exactly what works for you.

So that's where I am. In the midst of trying to figure out what is right and best, and sometimes struggling with either being ultimately in charge and whether the manner in which I am leading is truly best for our family.  It must be difficult in many ways to be a submissive male, but it is also difficult to be a Mistress or a Female leader.  My generation is one of greater equality for women, but I know even in my professional life, women (including myself) can still be haunted by being bitchy or aggressive when we really are just doing our jobs.  So retraining the mind and not feeling like I am just adding more to his plate or being a bitch is hard.  It is also hard to make the choices. To really think about being in charge, the impact my actions have on my husband and to strive with everything to make the best decisions I can.

I do not know anyone else personally who admits to being in a FLR.  So the online community is particularly helpful because it can be discussed in relative anonymity and by extension, honesty.  My work and life demands may make this too difficult to follow through on, but in searching to find the right path, I thought I might just give this a try.

If you are so inclined, please feel free to comment or help start a discussion on what I think is a very important topic and a (kind of surprisingly) peaceful and loving way of life.  The simplicity in certain ways of an FLR is fantastic.